WWE SmackDown Results: March 8, 2013

* Non-Title: 
Team Hell No def. Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre (with Jinder Mahal) by Heath Slater tapping out to Daniel Bryan’s No Lock.

* Ryback def. Damien Sandow via Shell Shocked.

* Non-Title: 
Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) def. Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston) via cross armbreaker.

* Mark Henry def. Yoshi Tatsu via World’s Strongest Slam.

* Non-Title: 
Tamina Snuka (with Layla) def. Kaitlyn via Samoan Drop.

* Sheamus and Big Show fight to a No Contest when The Shield comes out.

Detailed Results
---------------------

Thirty days before he challenges Alberto Del Rio for the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania, SmackDown kicks off with “A Real American” Jack Swagger and “The Founding Father” Zeb Colter. Swagger welcomes everyone to “Jack Swagger’s America”, saying that he will be the next World Heavyweight Champion before introducing his mustachioed mouthpiece, Zeb Colter. Zeb asks the fans to admit that they all think the same as Colter and Swagger, saying that the fans are too “afraid” to admit it. Colter continues, saying that every fan knows at least one illegal immigrant who has snuck over the border and taken a job away from an American worker. Zeb then says that he and Swagger have become the fans’ “spokesmen” and they are going to “represent” the fans in writing a new “Bill of Rights for legal citizens”. Swagger then states that “enough is enough”, saying that he is “taking America back” before Zeb says that he and Swagger are the “solution”. Swagger’s WrestleMania opponent, World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio, along with Ricardo Rodriguez, then interrupts to show a parody video of Swagger & Colter’s “Don’t Tread on Me” YouTube videos. The parody shows Ricardo Rodriguez with a pillow tucked under his shirt as a representation of Zeb Colter while Del Rio is sporting a wig, fake facial hair, and a fishing vest in a representation of Jack Swagger. The faux Colter says that he has a real message for the fans and it is a real threat in Jack Swagger’s America, saying that “Mexican food” is a plot against America. The faux Zeb then says that you cannot rule the world when you cannot even leave the bathroom. The fake Swagger says that he loves “pizza” and Zeb promises the faux Swagger that they will get some pizza later before they conclude with “we the people”!

The dysfunctional WWE Tag Team Champions were in action on SmackDown as Kane & Daniel Bryan faced 3MB members Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre, with Jinder Mahal in their corner, in a non-title match. In the end, it was Kane taking Drew McIntyre out of the ring while Daniel Bryan locks in the No Lock on Heath Slater, forcing Slater to tap out to pick up the win for Team Hell No.

With the Assistant to the Managing Supervisor of RAW, Brad Maddox, inserting himself on commentary, “The Sin City Cyborg” was in action on SmackDown as Ryback went one-on-one with “The Intellectual Savior of the Masses” Damien Sandow. In the end, it was Ryback dropping Damien Sandow with Shell Shocked en route to picking up another impressive win.

After being laid out by a massive three-man powerbomb at the hands of The Shield after RAW went off the air, “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show comments on the attack on SmackDown. Big Show says that he does not know what The Shield’s “beef” is, blaming Sheamus and Randy Orton for what happened on RAW. Big Show then holds up his fist and says that it is his “answer” for everything.

In a match voted on by the fans during last week’s Social Media SmackDown, World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio, with Ricardo Rodriguez in his corner, would go one-on-one with “Mr. Money-in-the-Bank” Dolph Ziggler, with AJ Lee & Big E. Langston in his corner, in a non-title match. It would not take long for Big E. Langston to get involved as Langston delivers a cheap shot to Alberto Del Rio behind the referee’s back. Ricardo Rodriguez then makes the questionable move of throwing a towel at Langston, which results in Big E. stalking Rodriguez into a corner. AJ Lee then rounds the corner to have a discussion with Langston, but, while this is going on, Rodriguez grabs the bucket of water and tries to douse Langston, but Big E. moves out of the way and Rodriguez drenches AJ Lee in the water! This sends the unbalanced Diva over the edge and, despite Langston’s efforts, AJ would insist on getting a piece of Rodriguez, even cutting through the middle of the ring to try and get the personal ring announcer. This results in the referee ejecting both AJ Lee and Big E. Langston from the ringside area! In another instant classic between the two evenly matched Superstars, it was Alberto Del Rio finally trapping Dolph Ziggler in the cross armbreaker, forcing “Mr. Money-in-the-Bank” to tap out to pick up the win.

Moments after a second, intense stare-down with Ryback in the backstage area, “The World’s Strongest Man” was in action on SmackDown as Mark Henry went one-on-one with the unfortunate Yoshi Tatsu. Not surprisingly, Mark Henry would make quick work of Yoshi Tatsu, squashing Tatsu with the World’s Strongest Slam en route to picking up another one-sided victory.

The Divas were in action on SmackDown as Divas Champion Kaitlyn, with Layla in her corner, went one-on-one with the second-generation competitor, Tamina Snuka, in a non-title match. During the match, Kaitlyn would take a nasty spill to the outside of the ring and Layla would check on Kaitlyn, but Tamina would shove Layla to the side. This would lead to Layla trying to enter the ring and Kaitlyn keeps Layla from entering the ring, but the brief distraction allows Tamina to take advantage, hitting the Samoan Drop on Kaitlyn en route to pinning the Divas Champion for the win.

After twice teasing his official debut, but calling it off over the inability of Matt Striker and ring announcer Justin Roberts being unable to properly pronounce his name, it looked like we might finally see the debut of the dancing sensation, Fandango. However, Fandango takes issue with how ring announcer Lilian Garcia pronounces his name and tries to coach the veteran ring announcer on how to say it correctly. After a couple of attempts, Fandango asks if everyone there is “incompetent”, again refusing to debut until he is introduced properly.

In the renewal of an intense rivalry that dominated the tail-end of 2012, the main event of SmackDown would see “The Celtic Warrior” Sheamus going one-on-one with “The World’s Largest Athlete” Big Show. During the hard-hitting match, Sheamus would land the Brogue Kick on Big Show, knocking Big Show to the arena floor. However, The Shield would see this as an opportunity as Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns emerged through the crowd. With Big Show down, The Shield targets Sheamus, but Randy Orton makes the save, standing tall next to “The Celtic Warrior”. The Shield would still overwhelm Orton and Sheamus, but an angry Big Show would return to the ring and, together with Sheamus and Orton, Big Show would assist in clearing the ring of the Shield! However, as soon as The Shield makes their trademark exit through the crowd, Big Show proves that he has no allies in the WWE as he levels Sheamus with the K.O. Punch, but Orton sees this and drops Big Show with the RKO!